Dating is already really hard. Not only do you have to get to know a complete stranger, but you also have to show off your best self at the same time. It’s a lot of work, especially now during this pandemic.
That’s why it’s important to know early on whether or not this person is worth the time and effort. While there is no 100% guaranteed way for you to know all that a person is within a couple of meetings, there are red flags you can be aware of to make sure you’re not getting the short end of the stick.
If you see any of these red flags, it might be time to reconsider the person you’re talking to.
They mostly just talk about themselves
When you’re getting to know each other, it’s important to let each other know all the pertinent details of your lives. But if you find that the person across the table (or across the screen) is constantly just talking about themselves and their problems and their life, you are probably dealing with a narcissist.
This kind of person is hard to handle because they don’t seem to care about you or your experiences, which can make it hard to form a real connection. That and you’ll probably have to deal with feeling not well listened to or taken care of.
They trash their ex
Anybody who talks too much about their ex is someone to be wary of, but the person who trashes their ex? That’s a pretty big red flag. It’s bad because it’s obvious that the person didn’t really respect the ex in question or their relationship; it can also mean that you could be potentially be on the other end of their criticisms if ever you two don’t work out.
They’re always checking their phone/not paying attention
While this isn’t a horrible red flag, it is an indicator for future problems down the road. If the person you’re talking to is constantly checking their phone and not paying attention to you or the conversation (especially if you’ve talked to them about how you felt about it already), it kind of sort of means that they don’t really care for what you have to say.
Either that, or they’re just super busy. That can also mean that maybe they don’t have the time to fully commit to a relationship and all that it entails. Might have to take a raincheck if that’s something you can’t compromise with.
They want to move too fast
It’s the person who sees a life with you right away, tries too hard to be physically comfortable at once, and is just plain pushy. If that’s your thing, go right ahead, but for most people, this is a sign of neediness and being suffocating. This is someone who might not respect your boundaries or expects you to be at their level right away.
It’s not a glaring red flag, but it’s something to be cautious about if you’re still trying to figure out your place in life.
They’re rude to service workers
This will tell you all you need to know about what kind of person you’re seeing. Anyone who treats service workers in a rude manner is someone who does not respect good and hardworking people. More likely than not, they will also probably be rude to you as well.
So why would you want to be with a person like that?
There are a ton of other red flags you can look out for when you get to know someone. Just be careful and make sure you’re able to fully discern what you can tolerate and what you can’t!