Psychologists have proven it, do stop denying your feelings.
(Ed’s note: This article says it’s possible for you to gaslight yourself, but it’s only for educational purposes. Please do not use it to self-diagnose.)
Have you ever heard either of these phrases?
“No. I didn’t do it. You’re imagining things.”
“If you cared about me, you’d do this.”
Then you know what gaslighting is. It’s a form of manipulation. It can make one person question their reality. And as if that’s not bad enough, psychologists say you can actually gaslight yourself.
Yes, it’s possible to gaslight yourself. You can do it in big or small ways. The point is that it can cause the deterioration of your mental health. Best watch out for these signs:
1. “You’re fine. It’s nothing.”
OK, we get it, you have a cheerful disposition. This may be what’s causing you to deny what you’re actually feeling. It’s one thing to reassure yourself in times of sadness. But it’s another thing to try and convince yourself that you’re fine when you’re not.
Phrases like “it’s nothing” or “it’s not that big of a deal” are exactly the words any gaslighter would use to manipulate you. So when you say those things to yourself, that’s gaslighting.
This causes you to downplay your accomplishments and experiences. You’ll also end up invalidating your emotions and questioning your reality.
2. “It’s all my fault.”
Gaslighters get off on bringing others down. These narcissists do that by blaming you and giving you grief. That makes them feel better about themselves. When you’re gaslighting yourself, you’re not boosting yourself. You’re bringing yourself down.
When you blame yourself, you make it seem like everything that’s happened is your fault. That’s gaslighting. That can’t always be the case. Blame makes you think you’re unworthy of certain things. Which, as mentioned, invalidates your emotions and experiences. This will change your perception of reality. You’ll end up remembering things differently.
3. “What would they think about this?”
It’s more about you not being able to trust your own judgment. It’s alright to want to get opinions on your actions or your work. That becomes a problem when you no longer trust yourself to make your own decisions.
If a gaslighter were to say this to you, it would be about them making your ideas or opinions inferior to theirs. Gaslighters like to make it seem what they have to say is more important than what you have to say.
4. “They didn’t do anything wrong.”
This is another form of invalidating your emotions and twisting your reality. But here you make it seem like what others did to you was acceptable. You tend to forgive them on the basis that you think they’re innocent.
This is very dangerous. You could go through a traumatic experience and not hold anyone accountable. You might feel misled or taken advantage of but convince yourself otherwise.
Gaslighters use this tactic on themselves. They make themselves out to be innocent and say “you’re imagining things.” or “it’s all in your head.”
RELATED Common Signs of Gaslighting
It’s scary that you can gaslight yourself. Always remember to treat yourself the way you would treat someone you love. Be kind to yourself and embrace these emotions, no matter how hard it may be to do so. You are valid and deserve love. Take care of yourself.