What you need to know from someone who goes both ways.
There’s this popular meme about bisexuals. It’s about how we have a larger dating pool but can’t bag anyone for some reason. (This bisexual guy’s guilty!)
The sex is great. Sure, there might have been a time when I didn’t get any action. But when I became active, I got a lot. After getting it down with the opposite and same gender, I realized some things. There are emotional and physical differences. Different smells, tastes, and textures too.
After going through a “hoe” phase, I’ve realized that I have an “any hole is a goal” mentality when it comes to being bi. This is true for many bisexuals. But because they’re attracted to more than one gender doesn’t mean they’ll bed anyone they meet. That’s certainly true in my case. This bisexual guy’s standards are higher than stereotypes would have you believe.
Because I’ve only had sex with people who’ve identified as men or women, I’ll only talk about what it’s like to be those two.
Sex with men
Sex with men is a lot more involved whether you’re bottoming or topping. You have to take time to prepare and do a lot of oral to avoid rips or tears. And of course, you can’t forget cleaning or douching to make sure you don’t make a “mess.”
You have to be patient when it comes to guys’ holes. Because the anal cavity is sensitive, you need to be thorough. Make sure that he isn’t still clenching for dear life when you put a finger (or two or more) in. You want to do this to avoid fissures and tears. You wouldn’t want a literal bloody mess.
Lube is your best friend if you’re engaging in gay sex. Neither of you has a self-lubricating hole. Spitting on your dong doesn’t mean you can shove it in right after. You. Need. Lube. Lots of it.
Sex with AMABs (assigned male at birth) requires a bunch of steps to prepare. Examples are anal prep and douching to get a good sex experience. But the thing is AMABs get aroused faster than AFABs (assigned female at birth). This means you don’t have to spend much time on foreplay. Sex with AMABs can be more carnal and direct.
A lot of the time, sex with AMABs is a lot quicker than it is with AFABs. You both cum and then you’re good. You can even start again in half an hour or so.
Sex with women
In comparison to AMABs, AFABs take a longer time to get aroused. You have to put in more work when you’re doing it with them. This means sex involves a lot of foreplay and teasing. In some cases, it can also involve careful handling.
When I’m having sex with a woman, I prefer it when she takes charge. That’s the complete opposite of what I like when I have sex with a man. Men are usually seen as dominant, whereas women are usually seen to be submissive. This bisexual guy’s biggest turn-on is when women break gender stereotypes.
The general rule is either listen or take full control. That depends on how they may be feeling or how they generally are in the bedroom. If you’re an AMAB, listening is important when having sex with AFABs. because you don’t have a vagina. You don’t know how it feels and how sex should feel. So don’t be afraid to ask questions.
Getting enough hydration and sleep should be obvious. But people don’t realize how much those things actually affect your bedroom performance. AFABs need more stimulation. To please them, you’ll want to get a good night’s rest or, at the very least, a nap. Make sure you’re well-hydrated while you’re at it.
It’s also very important to be careful when it comes to positions. A simple shift in angle could mean the difference between pain and pleasure.
This bisexual guy’s final words
Sex is an adventure. It’s something that you should keep exploring. Be it sex with women or men, AFABs or AMABs, exploration is important. The best part is when you combine the techniques you use with the two, that’ll spice things up.
Don’t limit yourself and always remember that consent is key. So, to you kinky people out there, make sure you tell your partner before you try anything wild. Whether you get down with men, women, or both (at the same time), remember that sex is a two-way thing. Communicate and go with it.
Now get out there and get laid!
Featured Image Daniella Sison