“I’m still in shock, the sadness is overwhelming. But I know I am strong, and I know I will be okay,” the singer said.
Jessie JÂ took to Instagram on Wednesday morning to share her sentiments following her “heartbreaking” miscarriage.
The lengthy Instagram post by the 33-year-old singer revealed that she had “decided to have a baby on my own” and that she recently went in for her third scan where she was told, “there was no longer a heartbeat.”
“Yesterday morning I was laughing with a friend saying ‘seriously though how am I going to get through my gig in LA tomorrow night without telling the whole audience I am pregnant.’ By yesterday afternoon I was dreading the thought of getting through the gig without breaking down…,” the singer wrote in the caption under a photo of her holding up a positive pregnancy test. “After going for my 3rd scan and being told there was no longer a heartbeat.”
The singer continued: “This morning. I feel like I have no control of my emotions. I may regret posting this. I may not. I actually don’t know.”
“I’m still in shock, the sadness is overwhelming. But I know I am strong, and I know I will be ok. I also know millions of women all over the world have felt this pain and way worse. I feel connected to those of you I know and those of you I don’t.”
“I want to be honest and true and not hide what I’m feeling. I deserve that. I want to be as myself as I can be in this moment. Not just for the audience but for myself and my little baby that did its best,” the “Price Tag” singer said about opening up on social media. “I know myself and I know I would talk about it on stage because that’s who I am. So instead of a tearful emotional speech trying to explain my energy. This feels safer.”
She also explained her private pregnancy: “I decided to have a baby on my own. Because it’s all I’ve ever wanted and life is short. To get pregnant was a miracle in itself and an experience I will never forget and I know I will have again.
Regarding her scheduled performance at the Hotel CafÃ© in Los Angeles, Jessie J confirmed that she will push through with the show, not as a way to “avoid the grief” but rather because “I know singing tonight will help me.”
“I have done 2 shows in 2 years and my soul needs it. Even more today. I know some people will be thinking she should just cancel it. But in this moment I have clarity on one thing. I started singing when I was young for joy, to fill my soul and self love therapy, that hasn’t ever changed and I have to process this my way,” she said.