Ghost month is upon us, but evil spirits are not the only ones you should beware of.
In the dating sphere, the term ghosting is used to describe a person you’re romantically interested in who suddenly disappears. Those who do this are avoiding the discomfort of letting the other person know it’s not working out. It’s not the most sensible thing to do, but a majority of millennials are guilty of this. Read on to find out the common reasons why people ghost.
Expectations vs. Reality
What looks good on paper may not be what you were expecting in real life. Online dating is tricky because you’re finding matches based solely on their short bio and pixelated portrait. You initially hit it off through chat but find you aren’t connecting when in person. In situations like these, it’s easier to just let the relationship naturally die than communicate any issues.
They might have a traumatic past that makes it difficult to trust and commit to someone new. It’s kind of like a defense mechanism that’s developed to protect themselves from hurting again. Instead of formally breaking things off, they’ll let you know it’s over with their lack of presence. While this explains their behavior, it doesn’t excuse their actions.
You shouldn’t be dating in the first place if you know you’re not ready for a relationship. “By walking out, they proved that they can’t do the hard work required to be in a healthy, long-lasting relationship,” Health explains. A person who ghosts is considered selfish and unempathetic because they only think about their own feelings.
The best way to address disinterest is through honesty and clarity. It’s better to reject a person than continue a relationship that leads to nowhere. Instead of leaving the person hanging and causing them anxiety over what went wrong, wish them well before parting ways.